Ola 2015
It was of miracles and magic, the everyday kind that can take you by surprise, the kind you could miss if you were too busy thinking, planning or just being stuck in your head. A sweet old lady, bound in a hospital bed for weeks, and her husband climbing in every single day just before breakfast is served and slipping out just after visiting hours finish. Her family was told she was dying, unresponsive to treatment. They take shifts so she is never alone and without a prominently prompting incident, she makes a complete turnaround and heals herself. A miracle, just like that. Or one day you wake up, and without changing out of your pyjamas, step out to greet the powdery white snow falling from the heavens. Eyes blink twice, thrice, in disbelief. Tongue sticking out, I taste it and think “Oh it doesn’t taste like much, just water,” and then proceed to frolicking and dancing because it’s just. magical. And then those sporadic moments - while having the perfect cup of coffee, or seeing favorite familiar faces on a screen, full of love and reassurance, or rereading a novel for the 5th time by the beach, or sharing tea turned cold from preoccupation with chatting away with two of your oldest friends - you realize you’re so happy you could die. And if you did, it wouldn’t be so bad.
It was of great compromises and even greater sacrifices. Like a combination of burnig passion, bursting ideas and owning one of the finest pens in the world but only putting the fusion to use once in a while because you were laboriously juggling 2 jobs, caring for patients in the morning and serving tables at night. You do this with the thought of a more immediate goal - to give an even greater love wings that his dreams may take flight. Like finally getting your hands on a rare treasure of a book ( On the Road) nearly 60 years old but almost never lifting a page for the sake of preservation. Like choosing to squat in a living room, books boxed up and begging to breathe, clothes still in suitcases after a year of transit. Comfort sacrificed but at least it meant rooming with two of the best girls and achieving goals sooner.
It was of bittersweet realizations and coming to terms with life. That the universe can show you everything; if you seek it you might see all it has to offer, if you’re lucky you may get even get a taste of every bit. But you definitely can’t have everything. And because infinity is nothing but a sense and explained by physics as only a potential, never an actual, hence everything in life is finite. Like the number of beats a heart can create, or the number of thoughts a brain can process, or the number of minutes in a lifetime. So again and again, cast doubt aside, take what you may and embrace it; live your life the way you want to and always, love as heartily as you can.
2014 it’s been lovely. Now on to braving 2015.
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