the formator


(for November 20, 2009)

"Hello my name is Mr. Pagsanhan but everyone calls me Pagsi. I'm 82 years old and still a high school teacher like i have been for the past 50+ years."

Here was the cutest man I had ever laid eyes on. His cuteness and jolliness instantly formed a huge smile on my face and yet by the end of his talk, my eyes were filled with tears. His talk by the way spanned for almost an hour and a half, like most movies. But no movie has ever made me tear up that many times in just one showing. It's like my eyes were turned into a faucet that was constantly being tilted to produce water. Only a few minutes after the faucet was shut closed, it would loosen again and let the water flow. I bet the people from the other side of the room were thinking, "What is wrong with this girl? The speakers keeps cracking jokes and telling funny stories and yet her reaction is the opposite of what is usually elicited after humor." Or maybe not since I bet more than 90% of the audience was listening intently and wouldnt have even bothered to look around and observe other people's reactions. I also bet that more than 50% of the listeners were moved.

Let's take a look at his best points shall we. That I may relay his message to the world. If ever anyone is actually reading this blog.

"Love your calling with passion. It is the meaning of your life."
One of the most important lessons in life which usually take people soooo long to understand, he put in a nutshell, summed it up in two sentences.

The first sentence makes perfect sense - loving with passion. Because love by itself fades, while passion may become concealed but it remains forever. Passion is that indispensable thing in every relationship that converts for now to for ever, that puts truth in the word ALWAYS.

He said love entails sacrifice and gave this statement: If you don't want to get hurt, dont fall in love. When he said this my heart was screaming, I want to get hurt, I want to get hurt! as if a heart desperate to feel love again. and yet my mind wouldnt allow it, instead it said: do you remember the last time you said that. and she wasnt asking.

He defined calling as the place where our deepest desire and the world's hunger meet. I bet the world is hungry for beautifully crafted stories. It needs more writers not nurses. Once more this is my way of trying to escape that in a few months I will become a registered nurse and will have to work as a nurse.

And he defined meaning as that which that gives direction to one's life. Personally I define meaning as that which completes the statement : I am here because.

Anyway I wonder if I will grow up to be like Pagsi but a female version. I wonder if I'd live to be 82 and still write like I do now. Most of all I wonder if I could live up to the word always.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Quarantine diary - Day 13

Image
In a vacant promenade, under the white fluorescent lights, with the fresh breeze, I danced like no one was watching.  There were 3 sections cordoned off to facilitate social distancing whilst providing ample room to walk and stretch. Lady Gaga played in my ears and there I felt the urge to extend my arms and legs as far as they would allow me. I wondered how much space I could take up. So I started with what looked like warrior 3 poses then took it up a notch by shifting to dancers pose except my hands didn’t support my lower limbs. Gradually, I transitioned to taking the widest strides possible while letting my arms radiate to the side and sway. The past months have been the most excruciatingly painful time of my life. My heart ached every single day; some days I wondered if my ulcer had returned and I would take Omeprazole but would not find any relief. Sleeping used to be my escape and solace. But my mind was busy and scattered and even when I thought I wasn’t thinking,...
Read more

the pseudo-person

(for November 22) I dont usually converse through text with people I don't know or haven't met but for this particular person I made an exception. Honestly I felt weird replying to a person who was a somewhat stranger. I mean, sure he's the best friend of one of my good friends, but still, I don't like operating on those terms. But he made sense and surprisingly enough he didn't bore me and drove me off to sleep. By the time we'd been talking for over a week, I felt like I had a bogus friend, a figment of my imagination that resulted as a way for compensating my lack of college guy friends I could talk to on a regular basis. And I don't know. there's just this certain thrill spilling information to a pseudo stranger, or someone whom you haven't met. I mean, what harm could it possibly bring right. He was, i mean is, taking up psychology as his pre-medicine course. He told me that he had a 10hour week schedule. Upon learning this I felt like questioni...
Read more

So I gave slam poetry a go

When I was a girl I was filled with a mountain of fallacies and superstitions Mommy said she thought kissing a guy would lead to impregnation That her first kiss was at the altar, sealing God’s permission And so I went through teenage years hiding any sign I was a girl Binding my breasts with cloth so my femininity wouldn't unfurl The thought of being in a relationship would make me hurl My grandma said to ward off men I should wear a pearl They said That to men women owed their devotion Keep the house tidy , tend to chores, love without condition If my husband looks away, it's my duty to do whatever means to make him stay They preached my best strategy is to pray, pray and pray And hope he comes home at the end of the day That marriage should be girls primary aspiration And bearing a child was life's greatest fruition And divorce would inevitably lead to society's condemnation  If your child turned out to be gay, that just means he's gone astray...
Read more