Quarantine diary - Day 4



A COVID19 Change Up. How the pandemic gave me clarity. 

Thinking of titles for this little collection. 


*Deep coma* It was 11 AM when I was finally able to keep my eyes open. Restavit saved the night and allowed me 12 hours of deep slumber. I felt a 40 percent groggy and 60 percent refreshed. But I hadn't slept over 4 hours in a month so altogether, it was good! Today was going to be a good one!


I finally found the strength and focus to edit my resume and write a few cover letters. I’ve applied for 2 jobs! And I am very very keen on one particular job.


It has been at least 120 hours since I’ve felt and breathed fresh air. And while I have managed to keep myself “busy,” I cannot deny the fact that that is the longest time I have gone without that vital source of chi. Or at least fresh source of chi.


It has occurred to me however that you cannot fixate on this fact because you have absolutely no control over it or when they will grant you a fresh air break. And I keep reminding myself, it is okay, some people probably have it worse and are more entitled to kick up a fuss; also, they are just trying to keep everybody safe.


The next best thing is turning to my diffuser (so glad I packed it in my bag) and sniff enough lavender until I feel calmer or sleepier. 


And then I distracted myself by writing. And I guess this is what it is - a purge or a cleanse. Every thought and feeling, I will allow myself to ponder and feel it. I always thought that’s what they meant when they said the only way is THROUGH IT.


I will write this quarantine diary which is also like a transition chronicle. And once the 14 days are done, I will never write about it again. There has to be more interesting topics to tackle.


I guess it sort of started on June 8.


On my 31st birthday, I bid good bye to the UK and greeted a new chapter of my life. 

I am broken - I’ve lost my talent for sleeping anytime and anywhere and as much as I want. I’ve lost my appetite and a lot of weight, though to be fair, I needed the latter. My chakras are blocked and I feel inept at feeling fully or properly. 

I am nearly broke. Or maybe financially challenged. And irrationally, I booked a ticket to take me home and it was exorbitantly expensive. Because who flies in the middle of a pandemic?

And I really cbf with this whole starting over business. I've done this so many times before that it has gotten more tiring than exciting. 

But I love a good story. And so I cant help feeling that this chapter will be very interesting. 


In a way, COVID19 shook my world. But it’s done that to the whole world. At least for me, I got some clarity. 


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